Tori Tortures Teacher

Tori Tortures Teacher

        Hey. I enjoyed my time with this episode. I hadn't seen it before. 

The main focus on this episode is (as the title would suggest) Sikowitz. For his 10 year anniversary of being a teacher Tori invites him to see a play with the group- however the play ends up being a close reflection of Sikowitz's life through with the protagonist being fraught with depression and self loathing.

   Sikowitz flips through his phone and quietly leaves the play in a way that feels surprisingly real for a children's show.  When something hits you and you try and escape it flipping through old texts and pointless webpages as if to trying to run away from your own introspection and eventually it collapses. Really takes you back.

   So Sikowitz shows up to class noticeably depressed, and after a while we're informed that Sikowitz wasn't made sad by the play, but by a text he received from his girlfriend during the play breaking up with him. The group makes a scheme to find him a new girlfriend, but Sikowitz reveals he's not too shaken by the breakup, but by the loss of his pet "Bunny".

  Tori gets Sikowitz a new bunny only to find out that Bunny is the name of Sikowitz's old cat. She petitions the group to help her find a cat for him; only for the rest of the group to storm off in protest.

There's a B-plot where Trina (and to a lesser extent Cat) work to date some guy who we're told is attractive but doesn't seem particularly good looking. It's alright. 

Oh and there's a C-plot where Beck and Jade are having a texting argument which we never learn the details of. It's clearly just there to give the two characters something to do in this episode, but it works out well.

It's just a good simple episode. The jokes are very connected to the plot (normally they're a bit disjointed) and it's just a solid plotline. Tori for once isn't a monster in this episode and makes a genuine effort to solve a problem that doesn't involve her.  Sikowitz is still eccentric but feels honestly relatable and causes the audience to feel deeply involved in his depression/breakup. It concludes nicely as well, the group is ultimately unsuccessful in 'curing' Sikowitz; but of course why would they be? Sikowitz says  "It's something I'll get over" as he leaves the episode,  the realistic response to his situation. The protagonists do a good job, but ultimately it's just not their battle.

8/10

Helen Back Again

Helen Back Again

   I didn't understand the title of the episode the entire time I was watching it. It wasn't until reading a 12 year old's post on the Victorious wiki that I was informed it's supposed to be a riff on "Hell-and-back again"

Which still doesn't make any god damn sense

   Hey. Remember the principal from the first episode? He's back in this episode after a season and a half. Instead of being established as a character he simply says "Hello, I am the principal here. Goodbye!!" and quits. He says some other stuff but I don't remember.

  Anyway. So Yvette Nicole Brown (From Drake and Josh and Community) replaces him and immediately decides that everyone must re-audition to the school. Now you may be asking yourself "Well why is she doing that?"

so everyone has to reaudition and it's a pretty good premise for an episode. We see all the characters strengths and it gives everyone a justification for their place within the group. Tori does song and dances, Andre writes and produces songs, Beck is a talented dramatic actor, Jade writes and creates movies, Robbie is a comedian/ventriloquist, and Cat is kind of a jack of all trades with various talents. 

Trina however fails her audition, being universally seen as untalented in the performing arts. Despite being kicked out fairly reasonably Tori makes it her quest to appeal to Helen (Yvette) to let her sister back in. However instead of simply crafting a persuasive argument Tori creates a scheme where Robbie will pretend to rob Helen before Trina fights him off. This works out (presumably because there are only 2 minutes left in the episode and no one could be bothered to think of something better) and Trina is accepted back in. And that's about it.

   It's a good one I would say. The middle seems like it's just a bunch of filler for 5 minutes, but it's nice to see all of the auditions. It does a good job to catch all of the cast, and the plot feels pretty grounded in the setting of Hollywood Arts. The plotline kind of rambles around which causes it to feel a bit forgettable, but overall a solid 8/10.

Locked Up!

Locked Up!

   I wrote a review of this episode earlier, but it didn't feel right. 

                   Remember when I said Festus's home country would come up again? This is it. It turns out he lives in a parody country somewhere between Cuba and a few Slavic and middle eastern countries. 
   The gang gets invited there under the pretense of thinking it's a resort island like Hawaii. But it's actually a desolate second world country ravaged by an ongoing revolution. They do a song and dance for the dictator but end up assaulting him and then killing his octopus so they're thrown in a prison camp. After a bit they use the power of song and dance to distract the dictator and Sikowitz helps them escape.

      The first song isn't that bad if I'm being honest. The second one isn't great but hey. Who are you to judge them. 

This is an hour long episode. But it's a bit hard to talk about. It's just so far removed from reality and the premise of the show. The cast does well and there are some decent jokes but, like myself, it never really manages to justify it's existence. 

It's not as bad as it easily has the potential to be, but I dunno.The show simply doesn't do these wild over the top scenarios as well as it does the more down to earth more relatable ones.

 I'd say it gets a well deserved 8/10

Side Notes:

• Cat eats a pop tart at one point in this episode- which is apparently Ariana Grande's favorite food. Or it was in like 2011 or whenever this was made. 
• The episode ends with them driving away- the cast sitting on the back of a large truck.This doesn't make much of any sense, because at this point in the episode the entire country is looking for this group including the dictator himself. And we're already told they're on an island nation. What are they going to do, ford the Pacific ocean? 
• I'm genuinely impressed with Ariana Grande's ability to navigate so well in a 5 inch heel.

Prom Wrecker

Prom Wrecker

   In this episode, Tori is a heartless monster.

    The episode starts with Andre making out with his girlfriend. This is maybe the B-plot or the running joke of the episode or something, I'm not sure yet because I've paused the episode 8 minutes in.

   Anyway. Tori says "blah blah blah prom???" and someone else says "no we don't have one of those" so she immediately makes it a divine crusade to throw a prom despite no one really wanting or caring about one. Even Sinjin (the rapist) seems like he's taking a pretty casually averse stance on it.

   So she starts up a prom but lo and behold- the only day she can throw it on is the same day that Jade has a big performance planned (at the exact same venue). Jade expresses her feelings to Tori, who blankly refuses to change or allow Jade to do the performance she had planned for weeks.

   The prom.. happens,  I don't know. They say earlier "But that only gives us five days to prepare!" and yet everyone in the school bought dresses and suits and got tickets and dates already? Is this what wealth is like? 

   Jade plays some avant garde horror clip montage on a big-screen in the background of the prom as revenge. For a show made for 7 year olds it is fairly uncomfortable to watch. If I was 7 I would be like "holy shit". But that's irrelevant. So after a bit they just like.. turn it off. Tori continues to bully Jade, and Jade continues to mildly inconvenience Tori. 

  After a bit the antagonist of this episode (Tori) makes a large nearly nude man assault Jade. Then she does an autotuned song and dance written by a 10 year old. That's it. That's the episode.

  It's okay. The little mini-plots between Robbie and Cat and Andre and his girlfriend are fun, and the episode is pretty good on a micro minute-by-minute basis. It's just weighted down by the conflict. Jade is reasonably upset, but the episode never opens any channel whatsoever for Tori to feel guilt or empathy- and none of the other characters give their perspective on it either. Especially after the events of Wok Star where we learn Jade is so passionate simply because she wants to impress her father Tori ruining her performance to throw her personal prom feels pretty irredeemable. 

Sinjin (the rapist) has some funny lines though. 8/10

Side Notes:

• Beck isn't in this episode again. While I appreciate Beck more than I thought I would, his absence is always hard to notice. 
• Jade has her Gears of War bag again. I guess they really want her to have it.
• Ariana Grande does one scene really well (her giving an idea for the theme to the prom). Not anything specific here- I was just surprised.
• This is also the episode where we really see Cat's giraffe for the first time, which she dissociates to in the same way Robbie dissociates into Rex. 
• Sinjin (the rapist) has tiny legs. They're like two stilts.
• A fedora makes a return in this episode. I've missed them so.

Tori Gets Stuck

Tori Gets Stuck

hahahahahahahah get it because she gets stuck in a location and stuck with a needle. a little double entendre for you  

         Tori has some play she is trying to be the star of but Jade also wants to be the star of it. Robbie gets some life risking illness and needs an immediate blood transfusion- and Tori is the only person with his type. Tori (a monster) is peeved that she has to stay at the hospital and save her friend's life instead of doing a stupid high school skit.

   Jade doesn't do the play either, Sikowitz does.

thats it

8/10

Who Did It To Trina

Who Did It To Trina

       Hey. This isn't the next episode on the list. But I'm not feeling great today- so I wanted to watch this one instead, as this children's show is my only respite I have from thinking about my demons.  

 It's a nice premise, being more or less a bottle episode. I've always enjoyed bottle episodes, they always end up really relying on the main characters and there's a lot of simple dialogue and conversation as opposed to more physical or situational humor.

    To mention to anyone who might be reading this [there are none], a bottle episode in TV is one that takes place nearly entirely in one setting and often utilizes only the main cast and maybe a couple extras. They're often done to save time and money, but they have a special charm about them.

  ok- back to it. Tori is making some play, which even in show is alluded to as being quite bad and nonsensical. Trina is the star, at midway through the play the entire set collapses on her after a harness breaks. The rest of the episode is a whodunnit featuring the main cast (minus Beck, who is absent in this episode) where everyone tries to piece together who sabotaged the harness. 

  I won't go through all of it, but it's funny and pretty good. Everyone's flashback is humorously warped to some degree- with Tori and Jade seeing themselves as kind and beautiful (while the other  is rash and angry), Robbie sees himself as a debonair pined over by the female cast, and Cat's flashback isn't a flashback at all- but simply a scene from Drake and Josh. 

   The episode largely concludes with the mystery going unsolved and the group blaming faulty equipment. It's not until the very end that we realize Rex, Robbie's puppet is actually the culprit. By this I of course mean Robbie did it in a schizophrenic delusion- but who am I to assign blame.

   Andre's B-Plot s him being stuck in the investigation while just trying to go on a date. It's pretty good, and includes one good scene in particular where he answers the phone in an over-the-top"cool" tone.

   It's a good episode, don't get me wrong. It's one I haven't seen before and was glad to have the opportunity to this night. I think it could be improved quite a bit by quickening the start of the episode. The mystery doesn't start until some 11 minutes in and this means it's too late to have much "mystery" as the characters tell their perspectives one by one. Still, it's done really well for this show and feels far more smart and mature than the general boy trouble/performance trouble episodes that are the standard. 

8/10

Side Notes:

• In an actually clever and witty joke, Robbie's flashback includes him saying "You make me happy" in a forced way that is apparently meant to sound suave and hot. This is a reference to the episode The Wood where Beck says this exact line. It's kind of a double joke, with Robbie both making up a cool line by copying Beck while the show seemingly pokes fun at itself for such an awkward line in Season 1. 
• Ariana Grande speaks with her normal voice in Robbie's flashback. I'm not sure if this is intentional or not- but it's a much missed trait. 
• I don't think the counselor lotions up in this episode, which is normally his joke.

Ice Cream For Ke$ha

Ice Cream For Ke$ha

    Hello. This episode starts with some nice sexual tension between Cat and Robbie. It warms my 12 year old heart.

   In season 1 everyone drank coffee, but now it's these big soda cups. It's much less cool. On the flip side- I don't know what happened, but all of the extras are now wearing fairly normal clothes. In fact, I haven't seen a single fedora. I think they must have gotten a new costume designer in or something, because all of the multi-layered outfits seem to be a thing of the past.

   Tori has the B-plot this episode where she is 'forced' to be Trina's assistant due to a contract made when they were 7. There's nothing actually binding Tori to doing this, she's just doing it out of good faith I suppose. Despite this, Tori makes another deal with Trina that if she gets a private performance by Kedollarsignha, she can stop being Trina's personal assistant. Once again, Tori can simply just stop helping Trina. Nothing is keeping her there.

  Luckily, Andre is part of some competition to win a concert by Ke$ha, where letters are hidden in ice cream and if you collect them all you win. The group- being the bunch of wealthy aristocrats they are, simply buys thousands of dollars worth of ice cream to sift through letters.

  They end up reading some announcement saying some other guy won.  Nothing happens for 5 minutes, and then in an extremely awkward scene Ke$ha posts a video saying that the other guy just faked the win or something. At first I coulden't tell why the actress was so bad, but it turns out they actually got Ke$ha for this.

  Nothing happens for a while again until they goto a convenience store to buy more ice cream. Tori just dumps the ice cream they buy on the floor- once again reinforcing the idea that she is a monster. 

They end up seducing and bribing a child into giving them the winning letter. Ke$ha shows up and does a very depressing looking concert before standing around and acting like an NPC from Oblivion for 30 seconds. 

It's an alright episode. It starts strong, but I feel like the writers were so hyped up over getting Ke$ha to guest star they forgot to write content for most of the episode. 8/10

Side Notes:

• Robbie lifts and walks around with a 3x3 foot bucket of ice cream at one point. I can't be bothered to work out the math of the weight of that, but Robbie's deadlift game is insane.

Back Falls For Tori

Beck Falls For Tori

   I hope reading that title has roused your preteen enthusiasm for this episode. 

          Anyway. This is a pretty good one. I was legitimately a bit worried this show would take a nosedive following Season 1, as I haven't previously watched many of the episodes from seasons 2, 3, and 4. Turns out that last one was just garbage. The first four minutes are a general Sikowitz class scene- and they're funny and for once include (even if it is in jest) a single character telling Tori to maybe chill out with her aspirations.

      ok so Sikowitz (for some reason) offers Tori a role in some movie he has a connection to. She says yes, but realizes that her resume is garbage, presumably because she spent the entire last season just making out with other girl's boyfriends and singing on pianos. Honestly, absolutely what skills or qualifications does Tori add to th

  I don't know why she even has to apply to the role if Sikowitz is offering her it in the first place. Maybe he's just saying she could apply? Why woulden't he tell the entire class then? It makes no sense. But whatever. All of Tori's friends tell her to just lie on her resume like literally every other 17 year old in the country.

   However Tori doesn't think about things too well and instead of just saying she's proficient in Microsoft Excel like a normal person says she's a trained stunt double. So the casting director assigns her to be a stunt double. And she accepts. 

  So Tori just refuses to do the stunt, and nothing really happens until Beck accepts to do it for her- wearing a dress and wig and all. It's funny. Despite Beck getting no credit and Tori once again simply being bailed out of the problem she caused herself- it's a nice kind of ending, and it works in the show.

The B-Plot is more minor in this episode, and is mostly just Cat trying on new outfits she created in her costume design class. It's good, and she has one scene with Sikowitz in the middle that I enjoyed. 

   Overall a surprisingly good episode. Nothing too "unique" (like Wifi in the Sky or Ping Pong Scheme), but simply doing an 'standard' episode very well. I would give it an 8/10.

Side Notes:

• At one point Robbie's puppet is said to have tricked Robbie into buying woman's jeans. Note that they are the same person.
• Robbie wears a size four.
• I don't know how women's pants work.
• Cat is noticeably dumber in this episode- a trend which more or less continues for the rest of the show. Instead of being simply 'extremely spacey', everyone treats her like she is six. 
• On the plus side, the laugh track is much less loud and frequent. Some would say they shoulden't have a laugh track at all.
• I would. I would say that. 
• At one point Andre says "In this town.. everybody knows everybody.". You're in Hollywood Andre. Part of Los Angeles California- population 4 million. There is no fucking way everybody knows everybody.
• One of the better running jokes is in this episode; which is Sikowitz asking a vaguely euphemistic question (Ex. "How would you teens like to do something for money?") before being asked ".. can we get some details?". It makes me chuckle.

Begging On Your Knees

Begging On Your Knees

   Welcome back. 

      In this episode Tori dates some guy. It turns out the guy is only dating her because she is oh so talented and wants to get a good grade on his song and dance project- so as revenge Tori does a different song and dance and Studs McJawline gets embarassed or something.

   I don't know this entire episode is an excuse to have Tori sing a song at the end. It's not great.

 8/10

Survival of the Hottest

          Survival of the Hottest

    Hello, streaming this episode got me put on a list.

           Despite that, I am devoted to the cause. This episode is about it being really hot in Hollywood so the group decides to go to the beach in Beck's RV. Cat runs out as they get there before a camper blocks the door of the RV, effectively sealing the rest of the group inside.

    The rest is exactly what you expect. Everyone complains about the heat while 5 dudes try to rail Cat. Dan really walks a fine line between making Cat a character who guys are constantly trying to hit on while also making her frequently mistaken for being mentally handicapped. 

   For the season 1 finale there's disappointingly little to say about this episode. None of the characters handle the situation differently from eachother, and there's no plan made to escape. This episode would have benefited from some plot to escape the RV in some way, but it never happens. The gang quickly accepts their fate and simply waits for Cat to walk in after the camper has left. 

  The Cat scenes should be the 'comic relief' of the episode (which is silly to have in a comedy show anyway) but they end up feeling too strongly like you're just watching a guy trying to get it in with a 15 year old. I wish instead the episode would have shown a series of different 'mini-adventures' that goes on in the B-plot; or that two people had initially left the RV and explore the beach on their own. It ultimately feels like we go back and forth between a group of people complaining about the heat and a drawn out porno intro.

  At least the ending is nicer than average. It's simple- but that's how endings to these shows should often be. The group simply finally goes to the beach. An end to their problem.

  This one gets an 8/10 from me.

   Thus ends Season 1.